CARLOS VETTORAZZI

How To Break Free From The Approval Trap

16 October 2023

Have you ever found yourself trapped in the cycle of seeking approval from others?

Felt like you are going through the motions with a lack of authenticity and a constant need for validation.

Me too!

Still, it is possible to escape this trap with the right mindset, strategies, and some practice.

Recognizing the Patterns

Recognizing the patterns and understanding their significance is crucial to be able to gain valuable insights and make informed decisions.

Examining the patterns, allows you to uncover hidden connections, and identify trends that may not be immediately apparent.

- Reflect on behavior and thought patterns.

- Identify constant seeking of approval.

- Recognize when you find yourself compromising values for approval.

A deeper level of analysis allows you to better understand the underlying dynamics at play, enabling you to develop more effective strategies and solutions.

Embracing Imperfection

You are a stunning work in progress, just like all of us.

There is no “right” or “perfect”.

We are all just, trying our best to navigate through each day and through life.

- Acknowledge that nobody is perfect, including yourself, and that is nothing you should try to control or change.

- Understand seeking approval doesn't lead to happiness or break any destructive repetitive thoughts.

- Focus on being true to what is important to you and embracing your journey.

Imperfections are what make you unique and interesting.

Don’t hide your imperfections, embrace them, learn from them, and grow through them.

Embracing imperfection frees you from the need for constant approval and opens the door to a more genuine and fulfilling existence.

Prioritize Your Needs

When your needs are being met, it gives you the power to take control of your life.

You start making decisions based on what’s best for you, rather than constantly seeking to be validated or approved by others.

It gives you the energy and resources to face life’s challenges.

Prioritizing your needs allows you to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

- Put your own needs and values first.

- Assert your autonomy by saying "no" when necessary.

- Take control of your decisions.

By prioritizing your needs, you create space for personal growth and development.

Focusing on your own goals, interests, and passions allows you to thrive and feel fulfilled.

Cultivate Genuine Relationships

Cultivating authentic relationships is an essential part of breaking free from getting stuck in the Approval trap.

It becomes easier to embrace your authentic self and prioritize your own needs when you surround yourself with supportive people who accept and celebrate you for who you are.

- Surround yourself with supportive people whom you feel you have to please.

- Cultivate relationships based on shared interests and values.

- Engage in meaningful conversations that celebrate the way you want to live.

Breaking free from the approval trap requires self-awareness, everyday practice, embracing your authentic self, setting boundaries, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.

I know it may seem like a lot, and perhaps you don’t even know where to start.

But what’s the alternative?

Pleasing others and tolerating your life until the day you die?

Your worth is not determined by the approval of others.

Your peace of mind is based on living a life that is true to you.

Focus your energy on what you can control in your life. Don’t worry about other people’s opinions, because that is what their judgments are: opinions.

The only thing within your control is your reactions.

Focus on creating peace in every interaction – your Peace of Mind.

Remember that people are more preoccupied with their own thoughts and concerns than with you.

Empowering Question: