CARLOS VETTORAZZI

Expressing Love Without Words

21 December 2023

Love is a verb, not a noun. It is a behavior, not a feeling or concept, but often we need some guidance before we master the art of love.

The belief that “if he loved me, he would know what I love” is not only the most immature outlook on love, but it is also one of the top five reasons relationships don’t last.

It assumes that your partner will be a mind reader and love you with no information or effort on your part.

The issue is not that your partner is incapable of showing love; rather, it stems from a lack of self-awareness on your part.

You are not taking ownership of your needs, desires, and communicating what makes you feel loved and appreciated.

What you are doing is depriving your partner of the most precious gift: the opportunity to better understand how to express love that connects with you.

While hearing someone say those three little words, “I love you” is a wonderful experience that warms the heart and brings joy to our lives. It is the actions that show the depth and sincerity.

To strengthen your relationship, you must recognize everyone has their own love language. You cannot change what you don’t understand, so take the time to get to know your partner’s love language.

It will help you connect with them on a deeper level.

In this article, you will learn how to do that.

Understanding The Evolution Of Love Languages In Long-Term Relationships

Love languages are not fixed; they evolve and require adjustments on your part.

If you wanna be in a long-term relationship, it’s important that you learn your partner’s love languages and how they change.

The perfect partner or relationship is not a destination, but a journey of discovery between two evolving souls.

Your partner is not a project or something to be fixed, but a reflection of the aspects you have yet to embrace.

Love, a universal struggle we all face, has no one-size-fits-all solution. However, there is one game-changing approach I overlooked for years that I am eager to share with you.

This is to be proactive and ask your partner the following:

What is your love language?

How can I best show you love?

When do you feel loved by me?

In a longer relationship, your partner’s love language change over time.

Before becoming a mother, her love language might have been physical touch, where she enjoyed affectionate gestures like hugs and kisses.

After becoming a mother, her love language might include acts of kindness, such as you offering to take care of the baby while she gets some rest or providing emotional support during challenging parenting moments.

Remember to check in with your partner and adjust how you express love to adapt to the changing dynamics of life.

Love can be expressed in countless ways, and giving is one of the most profound ways to demonstrate affection without using words.

The ever-changing dynamics of life provide so beautiful opportunities to practice love, preventing any chance of boredom.

Your responsibility lies in ensuring that you do not miss them.

Expressing Love Through Quality Time

Spending quality time together is a powerful way to show your love. Make dedicated time for the two of you, free from distractions. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and create lasting memories together.

Expressing Love Through Acts Of Service

Actions speak louder than words. Show your love by doing thoughtful acts of service for your partner.

This is as simple as cooking their favorite meal, running errands for them, or helping with household chores.

Minor acts make a big impact.

Love Through Physical Touch

Physical touch is a powerful way to express love. Show affection through hugs, kisses, holding hands, and cuddling.

Remember to respect your partner’s boundaries and ensure that physical touch is consensual.

Love Through Gift-Giving

Surprising your partner with small meaningful gifts is a beautiful way to show your love.

It doesn’t have to be extravagant; a small token of appreciation makes them feel special and loved.

Pay attention to their interests and preferences to choose thoughtful gifts.

Love Through Kindness

Simple acts of kindness go a long way in showing your love.

You show empathy, understanding, and compassion towards your partner.

Be there for them during challenging times and celebrate their successes. Small gestures of kindness make a impact on their happiness.

Love Through Eye Contact

Maintaining strong and consistent eye contact with your partner is crucial in conveying love, connection, and understanding.

By locking eyes with your partner, you create a deep and intimate connection that strengthens the bond between you.

It shows your partner that you are present and engaged in the moment, and that you value their presence and importance in your life.

Eye contact communicates a range of emotions, from affection and desire to trust and compassion.

It allows you to express your love and admiration non-verbally, creating a sense of warmth and security in your relationship.

So, remember to hold your partner’s gaze, allowing your eyes to speak volumes, and let the power of eye contact deepen the connection between you.

Love Through Surprising Gestures

One way to enhance your relationship is by regularly planning surprise dates, outings, or minor surprises for your partner.

These unexpected gestures not only show your thoughtfulness and love, but they also help to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

Consider a spontaneous weekend getaway or organizing a surprise picnic in the park.

It doesn’t have to be expensive or romantic. If you have a partner who appreciates surprising gestures, the important thing is that it is a surprise.

Love Through Active Listening

When was the last time that you listen deeply to what your partner had to say without interruption? Showing that you value their words without commenting.

I mean deliberately carved out dedicated time in your calendar to give your partner your undivided attention.

Turn off interruptions and distractions to sit down and listen.

Listening is an essential part of love. It happens one conversation at a time.

Don’t hear your partner’s words, but understand their emotions and nonverbal cues.

Listening is the only way you connect on a deeper level and build a firm foundation of trust and understanding in your relationship.

Love Through Physical Presence

There is absolutely nothing in the world that compares to the experience of being in the presence of a fully engaged and completely attentive human being.

It is an extraordinary feeling to have someone’s undivided attention, their focused energy creating an intimate connection.

The feeling of a genuine connection and deep engagement is powerful, leaving a profound impact.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, there is phubbing.

I often refer to it as the silent killer and the destroyer of all relationships.

This is when you put your phone before the person you’re talking to.

When you pay attention to your smartphone, you are signaling strong a disregard for the time that someone else is spending with you and the attention that they are giving you.

You are saying: I am not present or engaged in this moment and you are not important to me.

It is not only rude but also displays low emotional intelligence.

It’s not attractive in the slightest.

If you aspire to be attractive and have an outstanding relationship, put your phone on silent mode and give your partner your complete and undivided physical attention.

Maintain eye contact when your partner is speaking to show that you are present and interested in what they have to say.

Stop what you are doing and don’t multitask if you want to make your partner feel heard and valued.

Sit down facing your partner, lean in slightly, and have an open posture to create a sense of warmth and closeness.

These gestures make your partner feel comfortable and loved in your presence.

Actions speak louder than words.

One pillar of a lasting relationship is creating an environment where your partner feels comfortable and loved.

Love Through Emotional Support

Be a reliable source of emotional support for your partner. Listening, no matter the circumstance.

Emotional consistency is a great way to show love and affection through your words and actions.

Love Through Random Gestures

One way to keep the romance alive in your relationship is by incorporating random acts of romance.

The trick is to set aside time to learn about your partner’s interests and then show them you understand by doing something that proves you’ve been paying attention.

Leave notes, scheduled text message, or mail for your partner to read throughout the day.

If you have the cash, get them tickets to see their favorite band, treat them to a spa day, or give them a cool gift that matches their interests.

Small gestures make a big impact, as it reminds them you see them.

Love Through Shared Hobbies

One of the best ways to strengthen your bond with your partner is by engaging in activities or hobbies that they enjoy.

Showing genuine interest and support for their interests.

This shared experience allows you to create lasting memories together and fosters a deeper connection between the two of you.

Make a mind-map to explore existing and new interests together, will undoubtedly enhance your relationship and bring you closer than ever before.

Love Language Checklist:

Practice active listening to understand your partner’s emotions and nonverbal cues

Ask your partner about their love language to understand when they feel loved by you, and how to best show you love them

Adjust how you express love to adapt to changing dynamics of life

Final Thoughts

Love is not grand gestures, through extravagant or dramatic actions. That is insecurity knocking on the door.

Love is the small, everyday expressions of affection and care conveyed through simple acts of kindness, thoughtful gestures, and genuine words of love and appreciation.

Love is tolerant and consistent, embracing you with understanding and acceptance.

Love is knowing that your partner won’t abandon ship at the first sign of stormy waters.

It is the two of you navigating through arguments, confident that you’ll eventually reach a place of understanding and harmony on the other side.

Love requires effort and active participation from both.

Love is the willingness to put in the effort to learn and understand each other’s needs.

Schedule regular check-ins with your partner to discuss how you are both feeling in the relationship.

Express your needs and listen to your partner’s needs as well.

Make sure that you are in sync and open to making necessary changes.

The foundation of any loving relationship lies in the subtle actions, gestures, and behaviors that speak volumes without words.

First, information is processed and internalized by trial and error.

Then transforming into knowledge, which then guides actions that foster a strong and affectionate bond.

Love is not a feeling; it’s a symphony of acceptance, thoughts, and actions.

Choose to love wholeheartedly, for anything less than that falls short of the true essence of love.


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