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If I don’t learn and change, I don’t grow. If I don’t grow, I am not alive. I am just tolerating my life.
To Grow, I must divorce certainty and safety and enter the unknown.
It might mean giving up comfortable but limiting patterns, a safe but unfulfilling job, values I no longer believe in, or relationships that have outlived meaning and fulfillment.
I must take a new step to signal to myself that I am entering something new; I must engage in what I fear most.
This is difficult, but I know my real fear is going in the opposite direction.
Every day, someone or something tries to bury me, I fall, and every day I get up.
Just like a seed can’t grow without the resistance it gets from the wind and the rain, I can’t cultivate resilience without the pushback I get from people and circumstances.
I Don’t mistake resilience with pushing myself
Resilience is not about going through easy things; resilience is working through the difficult things and coming out on the other side.
This is not always easy because the uncertainty of what is on the other side can be paralyzing.
Resilience is like a muscle, yet many factors can affect my ability to build it — and some of them are beyond my control.
The environment influences how and what I create for myself.
I have a stable job and a stable home. I am already way ahead on the resilience curve [compared to] someone struggling just to put food on the table.
I have been there, so I know how it feels to go from paycheck to paycheck, to get by for years, before my efforts pay off.
I will never forget that resilience is sometimes a privilege.
While being unprivileged sucks in more ways than I can count, accepting what I can and can’t control is an additional resilience tool.
The same goes for remembering that while all the tips and skills can be helpful, building resilience is a marathon, not a sprint.
I often won’t immediately see the effects of all my work, and that’s perfectly okay; I am a seed.
I focus on doing my best while I push through and grow.
Notice that I use “push through it” and not push myself.
I practice self-compassion because I know how I want to feel while learning.
I have bad days when I don’t feel strong or resilient and want to stay in bed and hide from the world.
Then I remind myself that I am a seed and will have many bad days before I grow. That’s not just okay; being in it for the long haul is necessary.
I’ll DO MUCH BETTER THE NEXT DAY when I give myself a little space to have a bad day.
Conversely, if I push myself hard, I will spend the rest of the week in survival mode.
Facing resistance helps me develop skills that make me more resilient. I don’t want to add any further stress to myself. I don’t want to add any further stress to myself.
One essential part of being resilient is forgiving and allowing myself not always to be the most productive or the best in my field.
Self-Compassion + Gratitude Builds = Resilience
Self-compassion is not ignored when I am uninspired, sad, or exhausted.
Self-compassion listens to my body telling me to slow down instead of pushing through that message and throwing resilience out the window.
At that very moment, when self-compassion kicks in — I take care of myself.
Another thing I do as a growing seed is to practice gratitude every day without missing one single day.
Why? Because it keeps me feeling content and mentally healthy.
Over the years, I found ways to practice gratitude that I can stick to.
We all have our preferred way to highlight what we are grateful for, whether it’s ending each day by writing a sentence in a gratitude journal or going through a list of three wins we are thankful for one minute each day.
Being thankful and recognizing what we have in life can significantly affect our well-being and mindset.
We develop a positive outlook when we consistently acknowledge and appreciate what we already have. We attract more positivity into our lives. This gratitude practice shifts our focus from what we lack to what we possess, giving us a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.
No matter our situation or where we are, it’s essential to recognize the good things in life and thank them.
There are always reasons to be grateful, whether times are tough or not. If we intentionally make gratitude a daily habit, we learn to enjoy the little things and value the present moment.
When criticized or faced with negativity from others, it is vital to remember that we can shape our reality. We must not permit external opinions or circumstances to define or impede us from the pursuit of a brighter future. Instead, we should concentrate on our aspirations and stay motivated to overcome setbacks, using them as drivers to accomplish more extraordinary things.
A positive mindset that believes in the possibility of favorable circumstances and outcomes empowers us to conquer challenges and spot opportunities even amidst difficulties. This new perspective allows us to maintain positivity and draw positive results, bringing us nearer to achieving our goals.
Next time someone tries to bury you, remember that you are a seed
Remember that you are a beautiful seed.