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Why Letting Go Seems Impossible

22 June 2023
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Having difficulty letting go can have many negative consequences.

We may be constantly angry or upset, judging others and worrying about what they think of us.

When we cling to self-limiting beliefs, negative habits, or situations, we have little energy left for what truly matters to us.

Recognizing these signs and understanding their impact on our well-being is the first step in our personal growth.

When we prioritize inner peace, use our energy to control what we can control, accept the possibility of being wrong and focus on what matters, we train ourselves to let go and move forward in a more positive direction.

Letting go often involves acceptance, forgiveness, and detachment. It can be challenging, but it can also be liberating and empowering.

Here are some signs that you may struggle to let go, backed up by research:

You put others before yourself

Prioritizing your inner peace has been shown to have numerous mental and physical health benefits, such as reduced stress and improved overall well-being. Research suggests that practicing forgiveness and distancing yourself from those who bring you down can positively affect your emotional health.

You Desperately Want To Control Everything

What becomes possible if you start taking control of what you can control rather than obsessing over what you can’t control?

Excessive control tendencies can lead to anxiety, frustration, and even physical health problems.

You Escape From Reality

If you find it hard to accept life as it currently presents itself, this could be a source of unhappiness. Try to appreciate everything as it is.

Avoiding or denying reality leads to feelings of distress and hopelessness.

Acknowledging and accepting reality will help you build resilience and improve your overall emotional well-being.

You Judge Yourself And Others

What becomes possible if you no longer settle for empty judgments about people?

Being judgmental leads to increased anxiety and negative emotions. In contrast, being kind and empathetic has been linked to improved emotional well-being.

You Don’t Accept The Possibility Of Being Wrong

Do you want to be right or be in a relationship?

Challenge yourself to read and listen to what you don’t want to hear.

Embracing the potential for being wrong can lead to more creative and innovative problem-solving approaches.

When you are open to new ideas and perspectives, you become more adaptable to change and better at learning new skills.

You Worry About What Others Think Of You

The greatest freedom is not caring what others think of you.

Seeking external validation increases stress and anxiety, while focusing on your values and goals can improve your self-esteem and overall well-being.

Remember who you are and what you want-not, who they think you are.

You Are Constantly Angry, Upset, Or Zone Out

The fact that prolonged negative emotions can lead to physical health problems such as cardiovascular disease and chronic pain is the least of your problems if you are constantly angry.

Ager can be a healthy emotion to make something or someone stop.

That being said, anger is a disconnecting emotion that destroys relationships.

Being calm is a superpower that can help you to find solutions to any problem. Surrendering and allowing yourself to breathe will give you an advantage in difficult situations.

Identify your needs and values, and learn how to set boundaries and communicate them effectively.

You keep Returning To Self-defeating Habits Or Situations

Stand firm in your decisions.

Breaking bad habits and avoiding negative situations can improve emotional well-being and reduce stress.

Refrain from crawling back into old habits or problems that don’t support the person you want to be.

You Dont Block Time For What Really Matters

Get rid of distractions and focus on what is essential.

Prioritizing tasks and focusing on what matters has been linked to improved productivity and reduced stress levels.

Reducing distractions and staying focused can lead to more efficient and effective work performance.

What happens when you refrain from settling for what entertains you now if it will hurt you in the future?

You Focus On The Wrong Things

At times, we all fall victim to scrutinizing and dramatizing the petty problems in our lives until we’re exhausted.

Focusing on the negative leads to increased stress and anxiety.

Narrow your focus on what matters, positive experiences, and cultivating gratitude.

This will improve overall emotional well-being.

If you recognize one or more of these signs, take action today to let go of what is holding you back.

Focus on inner peace, practice acceptance and forgiveness, cultivate what’s important, and let go of what’s out of your control.

Living is hard if your mental and physical health doesn’t come first.

Looking after yourself will improve your overall life and the lives of everyone you encounter.

Common limiting beliefs

  1. Fear of the unknown: Letting go often involves stepping into the unknown, which can be scary. The fear of what might happen or not having control over the outcome can prevent us from moving forward.
  2. Fear of failure: The belief that letting go means admitting defeat or failure can be a significant barrier. We might hold onto something because it feels safer than trying something new and potentially failing.
  3. Attachment to the past: We may have a strong attachment to the past, whether it’s a previous relationship, a job, or a certain lifestyle. This attachment can make it challenging to let go and move on.
  4. Fear of rejection or abandonment: The fear of rejection or abandonment can lead us to hold onto relationships or situations that no longer serve us. We may believe that letting go will result in loneliness or feeling unloved.
  5. Low self-worth: If we have low self-esteem or lack self-confidence, we may believe that we don’t deserve better or that we won’t find anything better. This belief can keep us stuck in unhealthy situations.
  6. Comfort zone mentality: We tend to stay within our comfort zones because they feel safe and familiar. Letting go requires stepping outside these comfort zones, which can be uncomfortable and challenging.
  7. Attachment to identity: Sometimes, we hold onto things because they are tied to our identity. Letting go can feel like losing a part of ourselves, which can be difficult to accept.

Actionable Steps to overcome limiting beliefs

  1. Awareness: Recognize and acknowledge the limiting beliefs that are holding you back from letting go.
  2. Challenge the beliefs: Question the validity of these beliefs and find evidence that contradicts them. Challenge the assumptions you have about letting go.
  3. Replace with empowering thoughts: Replace the limiting beliefs with more positive and empowering thoughts. Focus on self-compassion, growth, and the potential for a better future.
  4. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals who can guide, encourage, and support as you work through your limiting beliefs.
  5. Take small steps: Start by taking small steps towards letting go. Gradually expose yourself to new experiences and learn to trust the process.

Letting go is both a process and a habit that takes time and patience.

Be kind to yourself and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small.

Three books on how to let go

  1. Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins: This profound self-development book offers a roadmap to release emotional burdens, unlock inner peace, and embrace a life of fulfillment. It is considered a classic in the field.
  2. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer: In this book, Singer explores the concept of letting go and freeing oneself from the limitations of the ego. It provides practical guidance on how to detach from negative thoughts and emotions.
  3. Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality by Anthony De Mello: This book delves into the power of awareness and how it can help us let go of attachments and live more authentically. It offers insights and exercises to cultivate mindfulness and self-discovery.

These books can provide valuable insights, mental models, and techniques to help you let go.

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